prequel: part two

aaaahhh....where was i??? :)  the phone call.  yes, that was it.  Jeff had just concluded a somewhat bizarre phone conversation with someone and sat stunned, kind of reeling in a way.  i was sitting on the bed, and he looked at me and said "that was so and so, and they want to pay for us to do another adoption".  these people were friends that were aware (i remember them asking once, "is your family complete?") of our openness to adopting again (if ever in a financially suitable situation) from a discussion months prior, i believe, but never had they heard us lament our financial hurdles.  it certainly wasn't a frequent discussion topic, between ourselves or with friends.  adding to the craziness of the moment was that the amount they had offered us also happened to be the exact amount we'd always guessed we'd need to do another adoption from start to finish. 
back to the conversation on the bed....."excuse me???  are you freakin' crazy!?!  is this a mean prank you're playing on me, dear husband of mine??"  no, it wasn't.  his face said it all.  he was 100% serious and knew better than to joke about a subject like that anyway.  we were floored.  like "jaws-on-the-floor" baffled.  overwhelmed.  touched.  dazed.  the immediate gut reaction was to say "no, we definitely will not do that.  we will not take your money".  after all, this was a donation from someone that certainly had endless possible uses for the money they were offering.  while i'd read of many adoption miracles and ways that God had provided for families that stepped out in faith, this was not at all how i'd ever expected it to look.  this donation came from people that said "look, we don't even feel it is our money to keep.  we feel this is an act of our obedience to Christ and feel complete peace that this is intended for you.  not for just any charity of our choice, but specifically for you to adopt again.  that's it.  we're both in agreement, and we want you to take this."  wow........humbling, emotional, mind-blowing.  our minds were spinning.  we talked there on the bed.  i may have cried.  ok, i probably did.  i know i for sure did later that evening when the realization hit me like a tonne of bricks.  the realization that the God of the universe, the one who called the planets into position and crafted the lands and seas, that very same God had reached down into my small little world and communicated with me.  clearer than i'd ever experienced.  a most direct answer to my months of questioning him, and even a direct answer to my very words uttered that evening on my jogging route...."Lord, i just want to know your will, and not simply my own....please give me clarity to know the difference...".  well, it didn't get much clearer than that.  we took the weekend to privately process what we'd been proposed.  we talked some more with the donors (ok, that sounds too cold and clinical), how about "the givers"~ and asked more questions to be certain of their discernment as they came to their generous decision.  in the days that followed we rather quickly determined that it would be next to impossible to say "no thanks" at that point.  how do you ask God to show you his plan for your family, and then turn your back on it?  how do you walk away from that?  so, while the thought of six kids seemed insane a touch large by normal societal standards~ what could we say?  when questions like "how am i ever going to feed this brood?  educate them?  tolerate them while still maintaining a shred of sanity?" came up~ (yeppers, all those questions were there) well, they did not trip me up.  how could they?  the path before us had been made crystal clear.  we just needed to take the first step and trust.  i think it was only a few days later that we contacted the givers and told them we were "in".  we were so over-the-top grateful.  we were so very aware of the miracle that they'd played such a willing role in executing.  they did not want our gratitude.  they were simply eager to see things get started and watch the process from a place of anonymity. 
well, two and a half years later i had another one of those "wow" moments when i looked at sweet AJ eating dinner beside me.  finally here.  our table is full, and there he sits, handling a spoon all by himself.  he is here because of someone else and their sacrificial gift to us.  to him.  he would not be here had the givers not responded to God's leading and prompting in their lives.  i can't even wrap my head around that.  what if AJ wasn't here?  seriously....i love this child as my own flesh and blood.  i love the givers for being willing to hold so loosely and give so freely of their material possessions.  how easy would it have been for them to dismiss the nudging of their heavenly father as "over-the-top" or unrealistic....i've learned from their generosity.  i am thrilled to have witnessed first hand God moving and using his children to accomplish his will, in his time.  it will be amazing to tell AJ this story when he is old enough to understand.  (that and the snow storm that did not stop us from getting to Africa... )  i hope more than anything this short novel journey from the beginning encourages your heart and especially renews the faith of those that are "waiting"....
ok, i'm done. :)