window and wind

today my mom and i observed something quite cute while poolside with our little fish, aka AJ.  he was back in the pool, for the second round (and it was still morning) of jump in-get out-jump in-throw in a beach-type ball, retrieve it-get out-and repeat....you get the idea (pool post with pictures coming soon~ this kid is even more crazy adorable when wet.  no bias here, because it's just the truth :) )...we were commenting that the wind was blowing the ball in a certain direction.  he repeated us, like he often does, and it was something like "window, blowing, ball"...we corrected him and tried to plainly explain that a window was the thing we pointed to on the house, the rectangular shaped glass that we looked through.  but the wind was something that you could feel with your hands in the air.  a cool breeze blowing on a hot day.  well, he wasn't getting it, but not for lack of trying.  he kept clarifying, and trying to fit the right word into his sentence at the right time.  however, he still kept using the word "window" for "wind"...my mom noted how hard it was to describe something you couldn't actually see, to a three year old no less, and she directed AJ to look at the towels on the line, blowing in the wind.  "oh, wind!" AJ said....well, i think he did get it right eventually, but who knows if that was just a lucky guess.  he had a 50/50 chance, after all...what is clear is how much he literally soaks in new information.  he is listening, growing, changing, speaking and communicating so much in such a short amount of time.  leaves me marveling at the human brain of a child.  if you dropped me in Ethiopia and submerged me in the Amharic language with no English connections~ i'd be miles behind where he is at five months in Canada.  but it sure would be fun to try.....aaahhhhhhh....brief pause as i flashback to our wonderful trips to that amazing land.........................................................ok, i'm back.  am missing our large stash of Ethiopian coffee, however, as the last bag has officially been brewed.  yep, sad day here when the final cup was poured.....sorry, off on a little wee tangent there...

little heroes

saturday was bliss....on so many levels.  the weather was finally perfect, which only added to the joy of it.  two other adoptive moms and myself agreed to meet for the first time with our kids at a wonderful park in Woodstock, a fairly central location for all of us.  Jeff remained behind with the rest of the crew, while AJ and i set out on a road trip.  i decided that all the wrestling tournaments have really turned this boy into a seasoned traveller.  he does road trips amazingly well....although, he seemed a bit perplexed initially.  ten minutes on the highway he asked "mom, hannah coming??"  "no AJ, it's just you and me today.  try not to be too disappointed that you've only got your mother with you, k?!" 
these two moms have beautiful kids who also came home to Canada around the same time as AJ.  they are close in age and completely adorable as well.  the especially special :) part is that our three children knew eachother before knowing us.  they hung out at the orphanage and transition home prior to ever laying eyes on their adoptive families.  they lived in the same room, perhaps even sharing the same crib now and again.  i wouldn't say they had obvious recognition of eachother upon meeting this past Saturday, but i definitely think they connected.  this is a connection all three of the parents really want to foster as our kids grow.  adopted kids need to have relationships with other adoptees that understand their beginnings.  as parents of these kids, we also benefit from sharing our joys and struggles and common experiences.  it is win-win...
win-win it was....and even a bit emotional to see these three running around, carefree and happy.  there's been recent discussion on an adoption forum about how these Ethiopian children are little heroes.  i completely agree.  for that matter, any child that comes from a place of hurt and a difficult beginning deserves "hero" status... all three have their own unique stories, their own personal experience that will shape their future and forever be a part of their identity.  but there is so much that is common in their journeys.  they each endured loss, pain, hunger and trauma...so to see them laughing and swinging and feeling such joy was a giant pleasure. 
after the park we met at a restaurant for lunch, and that proved to be equally entertaining.  i will not post any pictures in the interest of privacy for the other families, but their smiley faces were darling~ trust me. 
adoption is such a life-changing thing.  i feel immeasurably blessed by it.  one of the huge perks is the connection between adoptive parents who would never meet otherwise. i loved getting to know these moms and i hope this is the start of lasting relationships.  above all, i'm so thankful for our own little heroes...

almost five months~ a wee update

five months have flown by.  crazy to think we were in Ethiopia five months ago, imagining our Christmas homecoming.  our son with us. together as three and soon to be eight.  his personality has sure emerged~ with a clear uniqueness all his own.  he will do just fine in this crew of misfits individuals.  here are some things we're learning about AJ...
~he loves to be silly.  like most kids, he's aware of his own humour and the reaction it receives, so there is much repetition happening of cute sayings or expressions.  examples, you ask?  "no way!!" in a really surprised tone as though he's trying to show his shock. "oh my goodness!" is another one...
~he loves his father.  he is already a "pro" at reading his daddy when he's playing around.  he'll look at me and say "daddy's joking"...he has also learned it's just easier to concede and try the various foods daddy is putting in front of him.  whether it's a tiny piece of raw onion, a teaspoon of dad's coffee, or something else that is a bit peculiar to a three year old, he's starting to just give in.  sometimes he'll shake his head and announce that it's yucky, and lots of other times he'll ask "more?"
~he's still quite afraid of dogs.  the other night he woke up, whimpering a bit and saying "mom?" i managed to bring myself to a state of semi-consciousness and asked "yes AJ, what is it"  he said "doggy, scary....AJ sleep in (sounds more like deep-in) mommy's bed?"  so the little man and i snuggled up~ what a gift...
~AJ loves anything motorized~ tractors, ATV's, trucks, makeenahs (or ma-cars as he sometimes calls them...kind of a combination i think!), lawn mowers, motorcycles and dirt bikes. 
~we know he'll love riding a bike someday, but have had very little success getting him to turn the pedals on his tricycle.  apparently i need to up the quad workouts with him...once he gets it, it will be a huge thing and so exciting for him. 
~he is bright.  he recognizes the Newsboys on the radio and says "Adam's music"~ he knows Adam has the CD.  he is learning songs and a current favourite is "This is the stuff" by Francesca Batestilli.  the second it starts to play on the radio, even before a word has been sung,  he says "I lost my keys!!!", which is the first line, of course.
~finally, he fits.  he just fits.  he rolls with things, he's spunky and fun.  he's loving~ generously giving and receiving,  much to the delight of the seven of us.  he is currently low maintenance, and for the moment we'll enjoy that.  he even likes wrestling tournaments!  or so he says!  so....what more can i say.  there is no denying the added joy AJ brings to this family unit.  can't imagine him not here. not part of us.  not sharing these days as one of the family.  so grateful......

the blog post i'd prefer not to write

you know, some days you just wish unfolded differently....some days you just wish there was nothing to say.  no story to tell, no drama, no blog material....this morning~ not one of those times....sigh....AJ's homecoming has certainly brought me closer to "the law" more times than i'd like.  first, the police cruisers at my house because of my attempts to call long distance to Ethiopia, when i inadvertently dialed 911 in the middle sequence of numbers.  today, we three were up close and personal with the customs officers at the US border.  yeppers...it all started like this...
me, always wishing to be the proverbs 31 wife, trying to save some of my dear husband's hard earned dollars, decided to make the trek stateside to purchase some fuel, groceries and maybe even some soccer shoes for our oldest.  i've been doing this trip almost weekly as of late.  sometimes i go alone, sometimes i bring the two youngest boys.  never a problem, never more than a question or two about AJ's citizenship status.  today, it was quick to the bridge.  i had the four oldest dropped off at school by 8:30, hit a run of green lights, and was on the bridge by 8:40.  Hudson loves spotting the lighthouse, and a massive ship was just passing under the bridge at the time.  sun was shining and we were enjoying the view.  spirits were high, all was well..................are you picturing it?? :) 
there's always a dilemma with me in choosing which lane to pull up to.  which customs officer seems to be moving cars through smoothly and efficiently?  we don't have nexus yet (on the "to-do" list), so this is a big decision for me.  today i thought i chose well.  only two cars ahead.  WRONG!!!!
i pulled up to the window, handed over our passports (mine and Hudson's) and AJ's permanent resident card (PR).  the kind officer asked where we were going, how i was connected to the cutie-pies in the back seat, and the usual questions.  no red flags.....until....he started to question AJ's citizenship.  i explained that his Canadian citizenship was in process (can take up to 15 months to complete) and that i was told to simply travel with the PR card, and the adoption order from the courts in Ethiopia should any concerns be raised about the legitimacy of the adoption.  at this point i handed him those papers.  he seemed to be taking a while, then asked me to put on my four-way flashing lights and spoke into his little radio thingy "red minivan with three occupants"......insert deep breath here.....he handed me an orange piece of paper and instructed me to drive over to the left for more questioning.
"more questioning~ fun!" i thought to myself.  sure enough, another customs officer was waving me into a parking spot, asked that i shut off the vehicle, leave my purse and only carry my wallet, and step inside.  he then took my keys and asked me to wait in line.  with only two people ahead of us i thought we'd be off to Kroger in no time.  WRONG AGAIN!!  we waited and waited and waited, and all the while i found myself questioning if the great price on milk and eggs was really worth it....the boys were being fabulous, and i was thankful for small blessings.  after about 30 minutes a third officer asked me some questions (in front of everyone) and then proceeded to search my vehicle.  must have passed that part, as i didn't notice any German shepherds descending on the van.  we waited some more before being called in to the last officer on the left.  a kind man, Officer S., seemed completely stunned that we'd regularly been travelling into his country with AJ in tow.  i explained that the day we landed in TO, the immigration officer at the airport assured us we'd be fine to travel stateside with the PR card in hand.  I also explained that wanting to be 100% sure, i had made a long series of phone calls to the US and Canadian border people prior to ever taking the first trip with AJ.  they all seemed very confident in suggesting that the PR card, accompanied by the adoption court order would be sufficient to allow us entry to the US, and re-entry to Canada.  and as i said, there have been at least three trips over~ all without incident.....until today....
Officer S., baffled at this point, said he'd run the situation by his supervisor (not before being interrupted by other staff asking him questions as well, apparently he is the "go-to" guy~ or, the "before you go to the supervisor" guy, at least).  finally he returned, had me fill out a form that had the title of "Entry Refusal", and continued to work on the computer, entering what seemed like endless data.  he commented on how well my boys were behaving, and i was thinking "yah, that will surely end in the next three seconds, so can we wrap this up??" he seemed sorry to deny me entry, yet was emphatic that AJ should have ever been allowed to enter his country.  i told him i'd respect his decision, yet acknowledged the oddness of it considering our travel activities of the past few months.  he proceeded to escort me out to where my keys were held, and then gave explicit instructions that i drive my van beside him while he walked (not ahead of him or lagging behind), directing me to a white gate where he would then ask an employee to raise it for me, and finally on to the toll booth where he would pay my bridge toll (how very good of him) to return to my own country.  apparently he didn't want to run the risk of me "gunning it" to Kroger anyway....i felt as though i had a big "tried to enter the country illegally" stamp on my forehead....
once back on the Canadian side the customs officer asked me if i'd purchased anything.  i smiled and said "no~ considering i never left the bridge"...i gave her the short version (unlike this~ sorry~ it's therapeutic to get it all out) and she said "i'm on your side with this one, i thought the PR card sort of trumped everything".  "not today it didn't!" i said... she sympathized and sent me on my way, only for me to encounter some weird construction related traffic jam on the 402 that had me moving at a snail's pace.  i rolled into our driveway at 10:15, minus the milk and eggs, and Hudson and i shared a very teachable moment when we talked about how sometimes it is really hard for adults to be patient too.  and that today mommy was feeling very impatient and unproductive, and that the hour and forty-five minutes WASTED was a great opportunity for me to check my attitude and practice patience even when it was tough.  so, all in all, i hope we both learned something, and perhaps Officer S. will have something worth discussing and sorting out at the next general staff meeting.

mother's day

I know mother's day is past, but we were away this weekend and i'm just gathering my thoughts now.  not to mention the mountain of laundry that had to be tackled first.  i'm not sure words will adequately describe the thoughts i have on mother's day and all it means to me.  certainly the aspect of feeling so blessed.  blessed to have the legacy of a mother and mother-in-law who set an amazing example for me, even now as i'm in the trenches....these two moms do it well.  they sacrifice constantly, and have since day one.  they care and invest.  they excel at their title.  then, to have experienced the miracle of birth with my four fabulous "homegrown" kids.  giving birth to them was such a gift.  they are treasures.  to add blessing to blessing~ my two adopted sons.  i struggle to put into this into words, and i often consider the risk of appearing overly dramatic as it relates to this subject.  ironically, i usually feel words often do little to bring justice to this topic.  i think adoptive parents really get this the most.  seriously, how do i thank the first moms of my sons?  and AJ's first grandmother as well.  giving birth to boys in meager surroundings, with none of the pre-natal advantages i was afforded during my pregnancies.  little to no monetary support, emotional support, or physical comforts we have here in North America.  no security or stability.  still, they gave birth, which gave life~ all the while wondering if their own health, circumstances, and futures would ever allow them to be there for these precious boys.  i'm thankful to these moms and grandmother who chose to care for these boys while they were still able, and forever indebted that when options dwindled they ensured the kids were taken somewhere safe where their needs were met. 
this week, three white roses sit on our table.  one for each~ to recognize their love, their pain, their sacrifices,  their struggles.  their agonizing decisions that ultimately brought my sons home.  so bittersweet.

any similarities?

the first thing i thought of when i saw AJ doing this....

was my distant memory from a National Geographic show, as seen here:

any similarities?  do you agree?
cracks me up every time....and, strangely, this has become AJ's favourite form of exercise.  doesn't seem to matter that the water is just hitting 50 degrees, or that his little feet obviously ache after a few laps, because he dries them off, we ask him if he's done, he says "again" and then heads back out onto the safety cover to run some more.  highly entertaining.  either that, or i don't get out much.  okay, maybe both....