Happy Birthday Little Man!

Sept. 23rd, 2010....Today our new son turns three. To be totally honest, I've almost been too busy to think much about the significance of this day, until this quiet moment. As I sit here and consider all that this birthday means, I'm quickly figuring out that perhaps I'm not allowing myself to fully dwell on all the emotions that his birthday brings....So wide, and so deep....also so difficult...

I feel profound sadness for a mother who is unable to celebrate today with the child she gave birth to. For extended family who may or may not even be aware of his existence, let alone his big, "milestone" kind of days....I feel for our little boy who woke today in a place that isn't yet his permanent earthly home. He will lay his head down tonight, unaware of what could have been on this, his third birthday. I feel such personal sadness for the three years I've missed with him. First smiles, first steps, first words, first tooth~ so many firsts in those early years. I ache from all the loss. In Zake's short little life he has known so much loss, and our desire as his new parents and family is to start adding some checks in the "gain" column of life. We can't wait to scoop up this boy and welcome him for all that he is, and all that he brings into our home. Do we expect it to be easy? No, not really (depending on who you ask, of course! :) We all know about the "glass-always-half-full" man I love). We simply are walking in faith here and trusting God's plan...

On this special day that our son was given life, I also feel immense gratitude for the fact that he is alive and doing as well as can be expected. I'm so appreciative of the caregivers and staff at the orphanage that genuinely love and nurture the children in their care. We're super excited about the chance to meet him soon, and hopefully become his legal parents in a few short weeks. We're thrilled to think about bringing him home to join the VanderSlagt crew, and add to the craziness that is our lives. We celebrate you today, little Zake, and I'm off to make a dessert to mark this day, your birthday! Next year we'll be together, and that will be a party, I promise.